Manning Musings

First of all, we took a look at Ruth's recipe and want to try it this week! Nick says if anyone needs Balsamic vinegar we can mail it to you because we have about 4 bottles of it. Why? I don't know.
Nothing too out of the ordinary this week. Just teaching, prepping for school and trying to be outside before the weather turns bitter.
I have been reading a book called "Just Married," by Mark Ogletree that Grandpa Belliston gave to us. It is a delightful read (probably just for newlyweds though). Today I was reading the chapter about parenting and (no, this is not an announcement) it tickled my funny bone so I thought I would share since some of you might relate. The author included a piece he found on the Internet called, "11 Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids." I won't put all the lessons down but here is a taste... Lesson 1.
1. Go to the Grocery Store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go Home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleep habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 5.
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this: all morning.
Lesson 6.
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family-size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the backseat. Sprinkle Cheerios all over the floor, then smash them.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, doesn't that look nice?
Lesson 7. (I related to this one)
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a preschool child. (A full grown goat is an excellent choice.) If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
I know you want to hear the rest now but hopefully it got you laughing! Love you all!